Tag Archives: surrender

DEAR GOD: Prayers & An Awakening~

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man in black suit jacket sitting on brown sofa
Her Prayers Became My Awakening: An Interview
by C D Swanson~
Introduction: Glen is a retired banker living in the quiet, pine‑lined hills of central Vermont. His home sits on a ridge where the seasons move slowly, and the mornings carry a kind of sacred stillness. He spends his days walking wooded trails, tending a small garden, and learning how to live with both grief and grace. Beneath his calm exterior is a man shaped by profound loss, unexpected revelation, and a spiritual awakening he never imagined. This is his story — one marked by anger, surrender, and the God who met him in the ruins of his heartbreak.
CD: Glen, thank you for agreeing to this interview. I know this isn’t an easy story to revisit.
GLEN: You’re welcome. Talking about her still hurts, but it also honors what God did through her. And I promised myself — and the Lord — that I would share it when asked.
CD: Tell me about your wife. What was she like?
GLEN: Her name was Marissa. She was gentle, steady, and full of a quiet faith that didn’t need to announce itself. She prayed constantly — not loudly, not dramatically — just faithfully. Especially for me. At night she’d rest her hand on my arm and whisper, “Lord, draw him to You.” I’d pretend to be asleep. She always knew I wasn’t. Scripture says in 1 Peter 3:1 (KJV): “If any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” That was her. She lived the Gospel in front of me long before I ever believed it.
CD: You weren’t a believer at that time?
GLEN: Not even close. I was a banker — numbers, logic, what I could see and touch. Faith felt unnecessary.
I told her once, “You’re wasting your prayers on me.”
She just smiled and said, “God never wastes anything.” I didn’t understand that until everything fell apart.
CD: What happened when she became ill?
GLEN: It was sudden. Too sudden. One week she was humming hymns while planting tomatoes. The next week she was in a hospital bed, fading faster than I could accept.
And I was angry. Angry at the doctors. Angry at the world. Angry at God — a God I didn’t even believe in.
I kept thinking, why her? Why the one who believes? Why the one who prays? Why not me?
But she never questioned God. Not once.
She held my hand and whispered, “Glen, if God takes me home, He’s still good. And He will still come for you.”
I didn’t want to hear that. I wanted her healed. I wanted our life back. But she kept praying — even when she could barely speak.
CD:  Oh, Glen, that had to be so difficult. Can you share her final words to you?
GLEN: She squeezed my hand — weak, but intentional — and said, “Don’t run from Him anymore. My prayers don’t end here.”
Then she smiled. And she was gone. Just like that! One moment in time, she was gone.  My world collapsed in that moment. I felt like I died with her. I wanted to be with her. I just wanted to die with her.
CD:  I’m so sorry. Glen -After she passed, what was life like for you?
GLEN: I was furious. Furious at God. Furious at life. Furious at the unfairness of it all.
I walked around the house like a storm. I slammed doors. I cursed at the ceiling. I told God — the God I claimed didn’t exist — that He had no right to take her. I smelled her perfume. I rummaged through her clothes, which still had her scent on them. I hugged her pillow. And I just was miserable, aching and lonely for her.
The house felt too quiet. Too empty. Her Bible was still open on the kitchen table. Her handwriting filled the margins. Her sweater was still draped over the chair. Everything felt frozen in time.
I didn’t want comfort. I wanted answers. I wanted her back.
CD: (We paused here during this disclosure. It was pretty intense.) Glen…what was the one defining moment — if any — that brought you to your knees?
GLEN: There was a moment. A moment that broke me wide open. I was in our bedroom, pacing, yelling, grieving, raging — all of it tangled together. I felt like I was losing my mind. I grabbed her pillow, held it to my chest, and I just collapsed onto the floor.
And in that moment — that raw, ugly, desperate moment — something inside me shattered. All the anger. All the pride. All the disbelief. It all cracked open.
I cried out, “God… if You’re real, I need You. I can’t do this alone.”
And He met me. Not with thunder. Not with visions. But with a breaking — a holy breaking — that felt like the first breath after drowning. That was when I found the note. It was tucked away in her Bible in the back of the book. I lifted the Bible off the table, and it trickled down to the ground.
In her beautiful handwriting this is what the note said, I’ll read it to you. 
Lord Jesus,If my time on this earth is shorter than we hoped, then let my last gift be this:Please bring Glen to You.Open his heart.Break through his walls.Let him know the love I have prayed over him all these years was only a shadow of the love You have for him.Don’t let him walk this life alone.Draw him, hold him, save him.And if I cannot stay, then let my prayers stay in my place.Amen.”
That was the defining moment. The moment I fell to my knees. The moment everything changed. God was there all the time with me. And He healed me and gave me a new spirit.
Scripture says in Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
I didn’t know that verse then. But I lived it.
CD:  Oh my gosh Glen. Wow- what an amazing testimony. I am overwhelmed by your story. What did that moment mean for your faith?
GLEN: It was the beginning. The beginning of surrender. The beginning of healing. The beginning of God taking the pieces of my life and showing me, He had been there all along.
Her prayers didn’t die with her. They carried me straight to the feet of God.
CD: What does your faith look like now?
GLEN: I’m still learning. Still grieving. Still healing. But I’m not alone anymore.
I read her Bible now. I pray the way she prayed — simple, honest, steady. And every day I thank God that He answered her prayers… even after she was gone.
People say she didn’t live to see me saved. But I believe she did. I believe God let her see the fruit of every prayer she ever whispered, and had a front row seat to witness it.
CD: If Marissa could hear you now, what would you say?
GLEN: I’d say, “You were right. God came for me. Your prayers worked. And I’ll see you again my beauty.”
CD: What do you want others to take from your story?
GLEN: Don’t underestimate the power of a praying wife. Don’t underestimate what God can do through heartbreak. And don’t wait until you lose everything to find Him. If God can reach a man like me — stubborn, angry, closed off — He can reach anyone.
Her prayers outlived her. And I’m the evidence.
CD:  Glen. My gosh – thank you for sharing your testimony. And thank you for sharing your journey and heartache, which now is filled with peace. Thank you for this interview.
GLEN: You are so welcome. I wanted the world to know about my beautiful wife, and for others who have a non-believing spouse, that they should never give up. God hears your prayers. He really does. He heard my wife. And look at me now! Just look at me now!
CD: Yes, look at you now!  Amen. Nothing is impossible with God.

DEAR GOD: Precious Moments All For You~

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sun reflection on calm water near green mountains

Psalm 27:4 (KJV) “One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.”

 

Precious Moments All for the Lord
by C D Swanson~

 

There is a holy simplicity in David’s words — a narrowing of life down to its truest longing. One thing have I desired. Not many things. Not scattered pursuits. Not the restless reaching that so often fills our days. Just one thing: to dwell with the Lord, to behold His beauty, to live in the nearness of His presence.

This verse invites us into a quieter way of being — a life where the sacred moments are not rare interruptions but the steady rhythm of our days. Moments where we pause, breathe, and remember that God is not far off. He is the One who meets us in the stillness, who fills ordinary spaces with extraordinary peace, who turns simple minutes into holy ground.

To “behold the beauty of the Lord” is not merely to admire Him, but to let His character reshape our own. His gentleness softens our edges. His faithfulness steadies our fears. His mercy teaches us how to forgive. His light shows us how to walk. And His love — deep, unwavering, unchanging — becomes the anchor of our identity.

When we “enquire in His temple,” we are choosing to bring our questions, our uncertainties, our hopes, and our dreams into His presence. We are choosing to trust that He guides, He speaks, He leads, and He holds our future with tenderness. These precious moments with Him are not wasted time; they are the very moments that shape us, strengthen us, and draw us into the life He designed.

Every quiet prayer, every whispered “Lord, help me,” every moment of worship, every pause to remember His goodness — these are the precious moments that belong entirely to Him. And in giving Him these moments, we find that He gives us Himself.

🙏 Prayer for All God’s Children

Lord, draw every one of Your children into the beauty of Your presence. Teach us to seek You, to rest in You, and to find our strength in You alone. Let our days be filled with holy moments that remind us of Your nearness and Your love. Amen.

DEAR GOD: Purpose Me For Purpose~

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woman in white tank top waling in bridge during daytime

Ephesians 2:10(NLT)  “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”

Purpose Me For Purpose~
by C D SWANSON

There is a longing inside every believer—a quiet, persistent whisper that says, “Lord, make my life count.” It is not pride. It is not ambition. It is the Spirit of God stirring the soul toward the very reason we were created. We were not placed on this earth to drift, to merely survive, or to watch life pass by. We were crafted—intentionally, lovingly, deliberately—by the hands of a purposeful God.

Ephesians 2:10 tells us something breathtaking: before you ever took your first breath, God had already written assignments with your name on them. Not generic tasks. Not random duties. Good works prepared in advance—tailored to your personality, your story, your wounds, your gifts, your compassion, your voice, your journey.

Purpose is not something we chase. Purpose is something we grow into as we surrender.

When we say, “Purpose me for purpose,” we are offering God the deepest kind of yes. A yes that says:

  • Shape me
  • Refine me
  • Redirect me
  • Use me
  • Align me
  • Send me

Purpose is not always loud. Sometimes it is quiet faithfulness. Sometimes it is unseen obedience. Sometimes it is the courage to heal, to forgive, to rise, to speak, to rest, or to begin again.

God does not ask you to manufacture purpose. He asks you to yield to it. And when you do, something holy happens: Your life begins to harmonize with heaven. Your steps begin to match the rhythm of God’s intention. Your days—ordinary as they may seem—become sacred ground.

Purpose is not a destination. It is a partnership. It is waking up each morning and saying, “Lord, shape me into the woman who can carry what You’ve designed for me.”

And He will. He always will. Because the God who created your purpose is the same God who will empower you to fulfill it.

You are not wandering. You are not late. You are not behind. You are being formed for the very things God has already prepared.

Your purpose is not fragile. It is not slipping away. It is held in the hands of the One who authored it.

So, lift your heart and say it boldly: Purpose me for purpose, Lord. And watch Him do exactly that.

LORD- shape my heart, steady my steps, and align my life with Your purpose. Prepare me, refine me, and lead me into the good works You designed for me.  In Jesus name, Amen.

DEAR GOD: Like Little Ones Before You~

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a little boy standing in a field of flowers“As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.” — 1 Peter 2:2

Like Little Ones Before Him
by C D Swanson~

There is something breathtaking about the way a baby receives what is given — no pretense, no resistance, no overthinking. A baby simply opens, trusts, and receives. This is the posture God invites us into when we approach His Word.

Not with the heaviness of adulthood. Not with the guardedness of past wounds. Not with the skepticism the world teaches.

But with the soft, uncluttered heart of a child who knows the One feeding them is good.

When we come to Scripture this way — open, hungry, unashamed of our need — the Word becomes nourishment. It strengthens what is weak, soothes what is restless, and grows what is still forming in us. God does not ask us to be impressive; He asks us to be receptive.

Children do not complicate love. Children do not question whether they are welcome. Children do not fear being too small.

And so, the Lord whispers: Come to Me like that. Come with wonder. Come with trust. Come with the simplicity of a heart that knows it is safe in My hands.

Supporting Scripture

  • Matthew 18:3 — “Except ye be converted, and become as little children…”
  • Psalm 131:2 — “My soul is even as a weaned child.”
  • James 1:21 — “Receive with meekness the engrafted word…”

Reflective Question

Where is God inviting you to lay down adult burdens and receive His Word with the simplicity and trust of a child?

“LORD, soften my heart and make it childlike again.
Teach me to receive Your Word with purity, trust, and openness.
Let Your truth nourish me, steady me, and grow me into who You’ve called me to be. In Jesus name, Amen.”

DEAR GOD: Trusting You in the Fog~

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bare trees under blue sky during daytime

Trusting God in the Fog
by C D Swanson

Did you ever feel like you’re longing for a “word” or guidance from the Lord, yet nothing seems to be happening? If so, count yourself among the many followers of Christ who walk through the same experience — myself included.

Right now, my husband and I are seeking the Lord for clarification, affirmation, and confirmation about our next step at this particular juncture in our lives.

But so often, when this happens, it becomes a “wait and sit tight — for I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD” kind of season. This is when patience, one of the fruits of the Spirit, comes into focus. This is when we need to breathe, relax, and remind ourselves, “This too shall pass, and this too shall become clear.”

There is always a purpose behind everything we face — uncertainty, decisions, doubt, and those foggy moments in our mind, heart, and soul. The sun always breaks through eventually. It always does. It’s the waiting in the fog that challenges us the most.

The only encouragement I can offer is this: “Be still, and know that He is God.” (Psalm 46:10) Look to Him for all things. Trust Him fully, and He will direct your paths and bring clarity and peace in His perfect timing. (Proverbs 4:5–8)

Just know this: God is with you through it all. He is your hope, your conscience, your guide, your protector, your Rock, and your ever‑loving, faithful Father.

Isaiah 30:21 “And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it…”Lamentations 3:25–26 “The Lord is good unto them that wait for him… It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”

Father, in the quiet places where we wait for Your direction, steady our hearts. Teach us to rest in Your timing, trust Your wisdom, and lean into Your peace. Clear the fog in Your perfect way, and guide our steps with the light of Your presence. We place our hopes, our questions, and our next steps in Your faithful hands. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

DEAR GOD: Waiting On You Alone My King~

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“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” — Psalm 27:14 (KJV)

Waiting on God is not passive. It is not weakness, and it is not failure. Waiting is often the most courageous obedience a soul can offer when every instinct cries out to act, fix, or escape.

There are seasons when God does not ask us to move forward or make decisions. He asks us to stand still, to release control, and to trust Him with what feels unbearable. And that kind of waiting can feel like drowning—emotionally, financially, spiritually—when the pressure is relentless and the answers seem delayed.

Waiting feels like standing in deep water with no visible shore. It feels like holding your breath while the future remains unclear. It feels like doing nothing when everything inside you is screaming for relief.

But God sees what you cannot.

He sees down the road. He sees the turn you haven’t reached yet, the provision that hasn’t arrived, the protection you don’t even know you need. While you are waiting, He is working—quietly, faithfully, deliberately.

Waiting is not wasted time. Waiting is where God rearranges outcomes. Waiting is where He prepares answers that would collapse if delivered too soon.

Sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is stop striving, stop rehearsing worst‑case scenarios, and place the weight of it all into God’s hands—even when your hands are trembling. Even when your heart is tired. Even when your faith feels thin.

God is not offended by your exhaustion. He is not surprised by your fear. He is not distant from your struggle.

He is near. He is attentive. He is already ahead of you.

And when you cannot move forward, waiting becomes worship. When you cannot fix it, surrender becomes strength. When you cannot see the way, trust becomes the bridge.

“Lord, I place what I cannot carry into Your hands. I release the pressure, the fear, and the urgency to figure everything out. Teach me how to wait without panic, to trust without seeing, and to rest even when the waters feel deep. You see the road ahead, and I trust You with every step I cannot yet take. Hold me steady while I wait. In Jesus name, Amen.”

 

 

 

DEAR GOD: A Moment In Time With You~

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the sun is shining through the trees in the woods“With the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” — 2 Peter 3:8

Poem: “A Moment in Time With the Lord”
By C D Swanson~

A moment in time with You, O Lord, is more than hours, more than years— it is eternity brushing against my soul. For with You, a single breath holds the weight of a thousand dawns, and a thousand years dissolve into the warmth of one holy moment.

When I walk with You, time is not a clock but a companion— a gentle witness to Your everlasting love. In Your Presence, nothing is rushed, nothing is wasted, nothing is lost.

One heartbeat with You outshines a lifetime without You. One whisper of Your Spirit outlasts the ages. And one step on Your eternal road becomes a forever I never want to leave.

🙏

“Lord, Teach me to rest in Your eternal rhythm. Let my moments with You stretch wide and deep, full of peace, full of color, full of Your presence. Help me remember that Your timing is perfect, Your love is endless, and every second spent with You is a treasure that outlives time itself. Hold my heart steady in Your forever, and let my days reflect the beauty of walking with You. In  Jesus name, Amen.”

DEAR GOD: Going With You No Matter What Others Think

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body of water under cloudy sky during sunset

“Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.” Acts 5:29 (KJV)

To go with God often means standing apart—listening not to the noise of the world, but to the quiet, steady conviction of the Holy Spirit. When His voice settles in our hearts, it becomes clearer than fear, stronger than doubt, and truer than approval. Obedience born of love anchors us, even when the path feels lonely. Trusting His Spirit is choosing eternal truth over temporary comfort.

Lord, I choose You above all else. Strengthen my spirit to follow Your voice, trust Your leading, and walk boldly in obedience, knowing Your presence goes before me and Your love surrounds me always. Amen.

DEAR GOD: The Turns Of Our Lives~

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Woman taking a picture in a sunlit forest.James 1:17 (KJV) “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”

“The Turns of a Life Held by God”
by C D Swanson~

Life is full of turns — gentle ones we expect, and sudden ones that shake the ground beneath us. Seasons shift, paths bend, and sometimes we find ourselves standing in places we never planned to be. A wrong turn here, a painful turn there, a surprising turn that opens a door we didn’t even know existed.

But through every twist, one truth remains unshaken: God does not turn away from you. His love does not waver, His Presence does not flicker, and His faithfulness does not depend on the direction you take. Even when you step off the path, He steps toward you. Even when life changes without warning, His heart toward you does not change.

The turns of life shape us, refine us, and sometimes reroute us — but they never remove us from His hands. You are held through the natural changes, the sudden ones, the confusing ones, and the beautiful ones. And every turn, even the ones that feel wrong, can become a place where His grace meets you again.

🙏  

“Father, thank You for being the One who never changes, even when everything around me does. Hold me steady through the turns of life, and remind me that Your love is constant, unwavering, and forever near. Guide my steps, heal my missteps, and let every change draw me closer to You. In Jesus name, Amen.”

DEAR GOD: Love The Majesty Of Your Ways~

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 The Majesty of God (Part 2) – Brown Trail Church of Christ

Psalm 145:3 “Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable.”

“The Majesty of His Ways”
by C D SWANSON~

There are no words in human language vast enough to contain the greatness of our God. His ways stretch beyond the borders of our understanding, yet His love bends low enough to touch the smallest corners of our lives. He is the God who hung galaxies in their places, yet He is also the God who hears the quiet sigh of your heart.

Every sunrise is a reminder that His mercies are new. Every breath is evidence that His goodness sustains you. Every answered prayer, every moment of unexpected peace, every time your spirit is steadied when it should have fallen apart — these are the fingerprints of a God whose love is both mighty and intimate.

His ways are perfect, even when we cannot trace them. His timing is flawless, even when we cannot see the full picture. His love is relentless, pursuing us through valleys, lifting us on mountains, and holding us steady in the in‑between places.

To exalt the Lord is to acknowledge that He is everything: our strength when we are weak, our peace when the world trembles, our refuge when storms rise, our joy when sorrow presses close.

He is the God who parts seas, moves mountains, heals wounds, restores souls, and whispers hope into the weary. He is the God who never abandons, never forgets, never fails. His greatness is unsearchable — not because it is hidden, but because it is endless.

Lift your heart today. Let your spirit rise in worship. Let your soul remember that the One who governs the universe also governs your steps with love, wisdom, and unfailing compassion. Truly, there is none like Him.

Lord, You are great and greatly to be praised. Your ways are higher, Your love is deeper, and Your presence is sweeter than anything this world can offer. Lift my eyes to see Your majesty, steady my heart to trust Your wisdom, and fill my spirit with awe at the beauty of who You are. Let my life exalt You in every breath, every choice, every moment.  In Jesus name, Amen.