DEAR GOD: Yes – I Will Respect All Ages~

How do I Become an Elderly Caregiver? (with pictures)

Isaiah 46:4 “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

An Aunt of mine is currently actively dying in place at her home. She has been blessed with a fine life, and at 95 years of age is ready to go home to the LORD.

My other Aunt, her sister – is 92 years of age at home aging in place and actively caring for her older sister. They’ve not been apart since they were born. Having never married, they lived with each other their entire lives. And up until just one month ago, went out daily (the 92 year old is driving her Lexus every day!) and have all their faculties in place- nothing medically wrong!  So, all in all very blessed. Very blessed indeed.

The process of watching someone die is difficult. Of course, at this age it is expected, as no one leaves here without parting from their “flesh.” But what joy to enter in heaven as the spirit goes up to the LORD, as it is promised. Amen!

I have spoken to all of the hospice nurses, who are phenomenal human beings. Thank God for their role in preparation and providing comfort and palliative care- who offer comfort to the family as well. However, sometimes people can be a little “harsh” in terms of older patients dying.

Sometimes people will disrespect an elderly patient in ways they are not even aware of.  One disrespectful way is by ignoring them when they speak. And by ignoring the patient they begin speaking to another person in the room while addressing their medical needs. I as an experienced person in the field of gerontology my entire career working in the Nursing Home Industry, have always found this frustrating and the height of insensitivity to the patient.

  • Leviticus 19:32 “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.”

They also seem to disregard their dignity and treat them as a non-entity. These individuals have had most of their independence stripped from them and find themselves in unfamiliar territory where workers in the nursing home are “controlling” when they eat, sleep, bathe, etc.  It’s a difficult transition.

I guess what I’m trying to convey here is. We are all God’s children, no matter our age. He loves us all. He particularly has mentioned “woe to those who take advantage of the widow and fatherless child.”  So, you can be assured He is NOT happy when people treat patients with a cavalier attitude. Nope not at all!

When you encounter an elderly individual, please know that they are not invisible, and their life is no longer useful. Instead, treat them with the respect and dignity and honor they all deserve. Recognize that most have had different roles in their lives, like spouse, mom, dad, grandparents, sister, brother, daughter and son, so on and so forth.  They are still useful and are viable until their very last breath when they are called home to their heavenly Father above.

Dignity and respect should be afforded to all individuals, regardless of age. Be humble in your approach and kind and loving as Jesus would have you do.

The next time you see an elderly person or encounter an aging family member, please remember that they are God’s children, no matter their age. And yes, they are blessed to live beyond a certain age, but that only solidifies that God still has a plan for them in their current status. That there is still unfinished work to be done, perhaps in them to reinforce their pathway to heaven. But the point is – respect them and treat them with love.

One day if you are fortunate, and God willing, – you will be the OLD person in the room. Don’t forget that, and remember God is watching!

“Father, Thank You for my aunt’s longevity, and for watching over them, I pray that You continue to watch over them both, and pray her death will be peaceful, and that the aunt left behind be comforted by Your love and knowing she will see her again one day, and I lift up all those actively dying in place at this time, for their family members to have peace and comfort, and for all those who are caring for the sick, that they have patience and respect and love for them, and for those mourning the loss of a loved one, I pray all these things in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

DEAR GOD: Help Me Help Those Who Are Broken~

7 Ways Grieving Affects Your Health

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (ESV)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

What do you do when a 97-year-old is crying that she lost her husband? How do you comfort a woman who has been married to this man who died, since she was 18 years old? How do you deal with that as a Christian while being compassionate and supportive of her needs and feelings? How can I encourage her in validating her pain, while knowing how blessed they were to have had such a long fruitful and happy life that produced, 3 children, 6 grandchildren, and 6 great grandchildren? How do I shield her from the “well meaning” though clueless ones who offer words like “why are you crying, he lived a long time” while she sobs out of control?

What immediately comes to my mind is Galatians 5:22–I willingly began listening to her, exhibited patience, supported her by being kind and showing her love, and offering comforting Words of the LORD, in Matthew 28:20, “…lo I am with you always, even until the end of the Age.”

Galatians5:22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…

I offered these words of comfort to my aunt, “It’s okay to cry and wish he were still here. You are not being unfaithful to the LORD because you wished you had more time. You know you were blessed, but it doesn’t matter to you at this very moment, because all you are thinking about is you love him, miss him, and want even another hour with him. It’s okay to feel that. It’s okay to miss him. And people with their comments are just well-meaning wishers that don’t know what else to say…”

And that is true for anyone today reading this and mourning the loss of someone you love. Feeling as if you have been gutted like a fish on a plate and feeling as if a huge part of you died along with your loved one. Because in fact you have.  Being Christian doesn’t mean “we don’t have feelings” It means we believe and know where our loved ones are, where we are going when we die, but we still feel, and love them, and want them here with us!

This especially to those who lose people in the late years, where most are apt to say, “well he/she lived a long life” —the people who lose them already know this. What they need, is an arm around them as they sob. A tender ear and loving touch as they mourn the loss of their loved one. They need to know God is with them, and holding them up, and will get them through it. They shouldn’t feel guilty about missing them or wanting them with them.

Missing someone and wishing they hadn’t left doesn’t mean you’re not a Christian, or don’t believe in the LORD’s promises…it means that you have a heart and soul, the way God created you.

“Father, may all those that are actively mourning and grieving the loss of a loved one, no matter the age or circumstance, be comforted by Your Words and love, and Your promises, may they be filled with Your peace and wisdom, and the assurance that they will see their loved ones again one day, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”