2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (ESV)
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
What do you do when a 97-year-old is crying that she lost her husband? How do you comfort a woman who has been married to this man who died, since she was 18 years old? How do you deal with that as a Christian while being compassionate and supportive of her needs and feelings? How can I encourage her in validating her pain, while knowing how blessed they were to have had such a long fruitful and happy life that produced, 3 children, 6 grandchildren, and 6 great grandchildren? How do I shield her from the “well meaning” though clueless ones who offer words like “why are you crying, he lived a long time” while she sobs out of control?
What immediately comes to my mind is Galatians 5:22–I willingly began listening to her, exhibited patience, supported her by being kind and showing her love, and offering comforting Words of the LORD, in Matthew 28:20, “…lo I am with you always, even until the end of the Age.”
Galatians5:22 –But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…
I offered these words of comfort to my aunt, “It’s okay to cry and wish he were still here. You are not being unfaithful to the LORD because you wished you had more time. You know you were blessed, but it doesn’t matter to you at this very moment, because all you are thinking about is you love him, miss him, and want even another hour with him. It’s okay to feel that. It’s okay to miss him. And people with their comments are just well-meaning wishers that don’t know what else to say…”
And that is true for anyone today reading this and mourning the loss of someone you love. Feeling as if you have been gutted like a fish on a plate and feeling as if a huge part of you died along with your loved one. Because in fact you have. Being Christian doesn’t mean “we don’t have feelings” It means we believe and know where our loved ones are, where we are going when we die, but we still feel, and love them, and want them here with us!
This especially to those who lose people in the late years, where most are apt to say, “well he/she lived a long life” —the people who lose them already know this. What they need, is an arm around them as they sob. A tender ear and loving touch as they mourn the loss of their loved one. They need to know God is with them, and holding them up, and will get them through it. They shouldn’t feel guilty about missing them or wanting them with them.
Missing someone and wishing they hadn’t left doesn’t mean you’re not a Christian, or don’t believe in the LORD’s promises…it means that you have a heart and soul, the way God created you.
“Father, may all those that are actively mourning and grieving the loss of a loved one, no matter the age or circumstance, be comforted by Your Words and love, and Your promises, may they be filled with Your peace and wisdom, and the assurance that they will see their loved ones again one day, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”